Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
