I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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