well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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