Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
