at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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