then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
