Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need moral support for this bender
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
