You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wat bout pragnant strippers??
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
