We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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