Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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