...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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