So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
