And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
