I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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