If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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