Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
