Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
