is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize