..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
