3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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