Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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