please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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