is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
