Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
