I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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