Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
only if we run a train.
done.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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