My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Please don't give away my fajitas
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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