alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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