Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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