Swine flu. Run for my life!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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