How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
