If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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