why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
