Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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