That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize