So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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