I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
