listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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