you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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