i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
