Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
