Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
