sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
