So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We're too hungover to prance.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
