and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
