I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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