What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
did i walk over a car last night?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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