Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
