I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
