how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
