I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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