You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
