thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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