You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
