His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
